re: lonely

So I posted last October about being lonely in NC.

Almost a year has passed and I feel pretty much the same way.

I looked back on that post and realized that three good female friends of mine commented on it.

Then I look back even further and I sort of always remember being lonely at times. Maybe it’s part of the human condition. Maybe it’s because I go through big periods of time when I’m feeling anti-social. Tough call.

I do rememeber a period of a few years in college when I always had someone to talk to and was in constant communication with friends and others.

I think that’s what I miss.

I need to spend less time at work stressing out about work, and more time chatting it up with friends and doing random things.

Here’s a typical re-enactment of an outing with friends.
Waitress comes to table.

Me: I’ll have a Killian’s
Brendan: Can I get a Yuengling
Marv: Guinness
Kaufman: What do you have on tap?
Waitress: Answers.
Kaufman: Hmmmm… how about…

Waitress walks away..

Silence ensues..

Lauren: Silently thinks “Man I love New Kids on the Block”

Me: How bout that crazy work thing.

Everyone gets excited and animated about crazy work things for 3 minutes.


Drinks Arrive


More drinks

10PM rolls around..

Me: Man I’m tired.. work is killing me.
Kaufman: I’m gonna go home and play WoW
Brendan: I’m going to bed
Kurt: Silently thinks “mmmmm bed with Lauren”

I think working form 9:30 – 7 puts a huge drain on the social life. Most days I go home and just pass out and do nothing until it’s time to go back to work.

Where am I going with this you ask?

The point here is I need to adjust my work life balance.. make more time for being around people.

I can hear Heather saying now:

“It’s people time now Jason!”

Probably true… so maybe if I stop spending so much time at work, or home alone, things will start looking up.

I think the secondary point is that more of those girls I mentioned at the beginning of this post need to come to Raleigh, NC for a visit.

The tertiary point is that even with the friends I have now I miss having a sidekick. I think everyone needs a sidekick. This doesnt have to mean dating or anything like that… just someone to talk to who really understands things. Someone to confide in, and someone who confides in you.

I feel like I had one or two at some point.. and now I don’t. I can’t really define it more than that.

I am much too tired to be posting. That will probably all sound ridiculous when I wake up in the morning and read it.


It’s about that time for a monthly update. I know how sad you all would be if I let the entire month of April pass without an update.

Let’s see what’s new:

Heather moved in to the house. Now we’re pretty full with 4 people living here. It’s been fun so far. Having more people around means you’re never really that far away from having a party.

I was in training for a week. It was awesome. Training means that you have a schedule where you come into work for 8 hours, get an hour lunch, and then get to go home. This is a dream come true and such a GIANT change of pace from the usual work day:

Come in at 9:30… most often skip lunch and work on the phone/email through the noon hour.. work late with a customer.. catch up on emails until 7PM ish if it’s been a while since you’ve done that kind of thing.

Not everyone sticks around til 7. They must be better than I am at doing their job. I need to stay late to accomplish anything. Anything before noon is a waste to me anyway. Nothing productive ever happens in my brain until then. Maybe I could work a California shift here in NC.



I’ve been getting omgwtfbbq pwn3d by allergies this season. It all went down hill with the thin layer of yellow pollen that covered EVERYTHING in Raleigh. Luckily it rained yesterday and most of this hasn’t been circulated in the air yet. When it does get a bit dryer again I’m going to just hope that my Claritin holds out against the barrage.

Imagine waking up and not being able to breathe or open your eyes. This is my life with allergies. All day I itch, can’t breath, and want to claw my eyes out with the closest rustly metal object. It’s a good thing I have some drugs to make this just a bit more bearable.

I’ve been reading volumes lately. Here’s a list of the books I’ve read in March – April ish.

1. Mona Lisa Overdrive
2. Interface
3. V is for Vendetta
4. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
5. Pattern Recognition
6. Dune
7. Watchmen
8. The Once and Future King

I’m on The Once and Future King right now. Once I finish it I’m not exactly sure what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll buy more books and keep up the reading freny. Maybe I’ll quit reading and become illiterate.

Now that the weather is getting nicer maybe I’ll work on this whole motorcycle and car thing. I still need to be a better rider, and there is an endless amount of cleaning and polishing that I could be doing after work.

On Being Single:
Yep, still single. What a bunch of suck that is. Although, I don’t know that I could hold a steady GF now anyway. I don’t have time for all of that bullshit. I’d have to drop my video games, or my reading.

It’s been nice having the time to myself. I think I’ve found plenty of ways to keep myself occupied. Maybe none of them are healthy. Two hobbies involve sitting for long periods of time with no activity: WoW and reading. The other involves going dangerously fast with absolutely no solid protection between me and the road: motorcycle.

Maybe I should pick an activity like going to the gym. I guess it just doesn’t seem exciting enough for me. Not that everyone would call WoW and reading exciting, but for me it is.

I’m sure you’ve had enough of my ramblings for April. Check back in May and maybe you’ll see something interesting. Perhaps something fun will happen that requires me taking pictures of scantily clad women. That always makes the hit counter start smoking 😉