2024 Summary

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. In fact, this is the first post of 2024. It’s been a whirlwind of a year.

The year started out spending lots of time with friends and saying an untimely, final goodbye in January. Lots of memories and pictures were shared, drinks were had, and tears were shed. I don’t even know how to go on after this, and somehow, life did.

Our friend Monte finally got married this year, so I flew to Medellin with a bunch of similarly-well-aged dudes in February. The same ones I’d hung out with in my mid-to-late 20s, except with more money, slightly better judgement, and less willingness to sleep on a couch. We had a great time and rented a place with a pool in the indoor/outdoor living room and multiple hot tubs.

I had never been to Columbia before and I’ll say that my experience was probably different than the other bachelor parties we talked to while waiting in line (for 2 hours) at customs. The other groups were all talking about how hard they were going to party, and how wild it was in Medellin. Mostly they were focused on the drugs and girls. I was thinking about catching up with the guys and reflecting on how 15 years somehow passed since the last time we had all hung out.

When it came to the nightlife, there were definitely some very cool parts of Medellin! The dance club slash radio station was a fun and crowded time. The listening room with cocktails, a DJ, and vinyl was cool in a way that’s hard to describe. The music selection was excellent and they took pride in their sound quality, not just the volume. “Wow, this sounds really good.” – is something I probably didn’t have the same appreciation for in my 20s.

The harder part to integrate was the girls on the street propositioning our group, or hanging out at the clubs on one side of town. One of the locals said these girls were largely from Venezuela or just otherwise looking for a way to survive out of a bad situation. It was heart breakingly sad. I don’t know if it was raising a teenage girl, or just getting older in general that entirely shifted my perspective.

Visiting Comuna 13 was a highlight of the trip. The graffiti artists, roaming rappers, and our tour guide who seemingly knew everyone really made the trip. It was eye opening to learn the history of the area and see that story, and the violence, reflected in gorgeous murals. Hummingbird helicopters and beetle tanks.

While I was in Columbia, Kat went house hunting and fell in love with a condo in downtown Durham. I knew over the phone that she really loved the place and we were probably going to buy it. I had already seen some pictures thanks to a friend whose parents had recently bought in the building. Kat arranged a visit as soon as I got back to the states. We put in an offer and just like that we were lined up to move out of the suburbs and into downtown.

When I get back, work took over and I put on a conference in Las Vegas for our internal sales folks in March. I flew immediately from Vegas to Telluride to get in two days of snow boarding with family and friends who had already been out vacationing while I was at work. It was great to get in a few turns, but wow was Telluride expensive.

In between packing up my whole “suburban dad” life and sorting through ten years of collected items to see what sparked joy, we also put on a customer facing conference for 4,000 people in Barcelona in May.

This time was a blur for me, and I owe Kat a huge thanks because she project managed everything moving and construction-wise for the new place to get it ready to move in. May was also the same month John and Monte got married, and that was awesome to have everyone in town and connect with friends. Their ceremony and location at Heights House were both fantastic. There was a duck dish for dinner that I don’t think I’ll forget.

June came and we had a high school graduation party at our suburban house for Elly. It was a send-off for Elly and for our time with a back yard and quiet neighborhood. As soon as the house was cleaned up from the party on Saturday, movers came on Monday and unceremoniously packed up everything we hadn’t gotten rid of (even a few dirty dishes we had forgotten were in the dishwasher).

We spent the time post-move emptying out the basement of the suburban house, cleaning out the attic, and getting it rental ready. Surprisingly and chaotically, we also had to do the same for the condo in downtown Raleigh, since that property was turning over as well. It was a whirlwind of painters, flooring, roof repair, and most of all – item donations. A paring down of collected things to just the essentials. Lots of letting go of things you thought you needed, but demonstrably did not. The forced conclusion of many projects you had the hubris (or delusion?) to think you would get to some day.

The things you own end up owning you.

• Chuck Palahniuk

Mr. P left out “as well as inducing soul-crushing anxiety when you have to move later.”

The big ticket item there for me (emotionally and financially) was finding a new home for my motorcycle. After too much time talking to too many strangers on Facebook Marketplace, I found someone who seemed serious. We arranged a time for pickup that lined up with when we here having our last yard-sale at the suburban property. I rode the motorcycle one last time to make sure it was still operable, and had such a good time I almost didn’t want to sell it. But, I parted ways with the bike and was handed an envelope full of cash that lifted a burden. No more replacing dead batteries every year or two because I hadn’t ridden enough and had no indoor parking / charging setup. No more guilt to think about how I was no longer a rider of motorcycles as I neglected this expensive machine in the driveway.

That marked a shift into full-on downtown Durham habitation and nesting. There is a lot required to make a house livable. More than just moving all of your stuff into it. I feel like that took the rest of the year.

I started walking into the office a few days a week, because my commute was now nine minutes on foot. A definite improvement! Kat and I also spent a lot of time trying to find a new coffee shop and a new favorite restaurant to replace our old haunts. There are many more options downtown so we haven’t settled on this yet. For a few months we never went to the same place twice.

In July, just as we were getting settled into downtown life, we took a family trip to the mountains of north Georgia. We stayed at a cabin in Blue Ride, GA for seven days. We spent time puzzling, swimming, rafting, and even rail biking. Wine, cheese, family meals, coffee, reading, no big pressure to accomplish anything substantial. I organized only a few itinerary items like the rafting and rail biking and the rest of the trip was just unstructured family time. I had a precise ratio of structured to unstructured. So it was all structured.🤓 I could be happy.

In August, we drove Elly out to Elizabeth City State University so she could start her college phase, and we could become empty nesters at 40. The emotional and logistical toll of this pressed on the whole family. Even the cats. Everyone had a routine change and life change.

From August to the end of the year I can’t really tell you what happened. Work consumed a large portion of my mental capacity. I have a lot of journal entries of all the different things we did, but no clear memory of the time as a whole. Instead, here’s a bulleted list. This tells you I am ready to be done writing.

• I saw Rocky Horror Picture Show at Carolina Theater for the first time.
• I somehow tweaked my back in early November, which is still bothering me in late December.
• We went on a car camping trip where I got rained on inside the tent.
• We hosted a family Thanksgiving dinner for 12 in our condo common room.
• We drove to Elizabeth City a few times to pick up Elly and celebrate a birthday in New Bern.
• We spent quite a few evenings at social events with friends and neighbors downtown.
• We went to the opening of the new Crank Arm where Kat’s brother’s girlfriend works as a very short bartender behind a very tall bar!
• Many trips to the farmer’s market

Rounding out the year, we’re about to drive down to Florida for Christmas with Mom. It’s been cold up here in NC so hopefully we can get some sunshine and warmth in FL.

I think I’ve learned to stop making promises about more blog posts in the future.

I’ve also learned that projects over the holiday are NOT the point of vacation time and I will strive to have a New Year’s break filled with books and video games.