Lessons Learned As I Approach 30

I’m turning 30 this month. When I think back on the past decade I see a series of lessons learned. Things I’ve learned that I already knew. Things that I’ve learned by making a mistake when I knew better. Sometimes making that mistake more than once. Mostly lessons about girls are on my mind at the moment, but there are other things too. Lessons about life and about myself. In no particular rank or order:

  • Just because you can sleep with someone, doesn’t mean you should:
    • If she’s engaged.
    • If she’s already in the friend circle.
    • If you just met and she seems into you through no particular effort of your own. This always ends poorly for some reason. Only cool if you’re OK with it ending quickly. You never are unless she’s crazy. Avoid that preemptively.
    • If she’s your friend’s EX GF and he swears he’s cool with it (You should know better than to believe him.)
  • Just because you want to hit on someone, doesn’t mean you should:
    • If she’s the younger sister of your best friend’s bride at their wedding. (The bride may smack you and say “No, bad Burns!”)
    • If she’s the bride and you’re not the groom.
    • If she’s dating someone in your friend circle.
    • If she’s married to someone in your friend circle.
    • Maybe if she’s married at all, but I’m not sure on this one. Jury is out.
  • When you’ve had too much to drink, stop talking. You’re louder and more vulgar than you think.
  • Your friends will forgive you when you’re an ass, but try to be better anyway.
  • When you’re not happy
    • Change something
    • Go somewhere new.
    • Buy something. You earned the money. You are allowed to spend *some* of it.
    • Do something different that you’ve never done before. Even if it scares you or makes you uncomfortable. (Also applies to jobs.)
    • Drive then wash your cars or motorcycle. This ALWAYS works.
    • Call or visit family. They are awesome.
    • Read
  • Don’t speed so much. Sure the tickets aren’t that bad, but the insurance hikes are killer.
  • Enjoy your time alone. It’s the only way you function, but don’t withdraw completely. You like people in small doses.
  • Take more pictures!
    • Take pictures of people, not pictures of things. The people are the only thing that matters. No one wants to looks at another damn waterfall or sunset photo. Your camera is crap anyway.
    • Caption the pictures. It’s great now for sharing and even better 5 years from now.

Alright – that’s enough for now before the post gets too long. Those are the main ones. What have you guys learned lately? Am I wrong on any of these? Did I miss any favorite “Burns Lessons” that you remember me learning in some dramatic and sordid way?

-Burns

One Reply to “Lessons Learned As I Approach 30”

  1. Burns, I went through this a couple years ago – a few weeks of introspection, retrospection, all manner of ‘specting goes on. In my case this formed the prelude to a truly sick party commemorating a triumph over my father’s damning prophesies.

    The signature drink was the bourbon manhattan. There was a dragon warrior themed cake in the form of a Chocolate filled King Slime. Everyone got on the tiny balcony and harassed passers-by as they made their way home from the bars, some of whom we encouraged to join us. We made jello shots that looked like Boba Fett’s head. I lost not one but two shirts. We played games but I don’t remember them. I woke up the next morning and the rite of passage was over – I was more or less unchanged.

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