I’m at a bit of a disadvantage because I’ve heard a lot of the material is similar to CVOICE. I’ve never done the CVOICE cert, so now I’m reading through the 700+ page book this week. Wish me luck for Friday. I’ve already failed this stupid test twice (by a razor thin margin) and I’m REALLY hoping I won’t have to go through that again. I can’t stand being less than excellent in my field of excellence. This was the one thing I was still good at

ANYWAY – I was studying and this Bayside song came on that I’ve probably posted before.

Do you ever wake up to realize
that your life is meaningless?
Does it give you strength or lead
you to your grave at a young age?

I have an easy answer for this. Every time I’ve woken up and gone “Why the fuck am I doing this again? It doesn’t mean anything.” I’m able to say “Fuck it – do whatever you want. Do what makes you happy. You’re doing it because you want to.”

It’s empowering.

Maybe I’m spoiled because I’m responsible to no one but myself. It doesn’t hurt that the job pays the bills pretty well. At any point I could quit, move across the country (or ride my motorcycle there), and start all over again. I probably won’t, but I could.

Maybe I should search for something to give my life meaning, purpose, some greater goal. For now though, I’m pretty happy with being financially stable, able to take epic vacations, ride or drive anything that’s dangerously powerful, and drink my face off once in a while with friends. Is there more to it than that? I don’t care. Ask me in a few years.

Sometimes I go back and read old blog posts. I’m WAY happier now.

It decided to spit out one amazing song after another! I’ve heard this one before and wish there was a bigger Thumbs Up button that I could hit. If this song were a married girl I would hit on it inappropriately.

Time aint gonna cure you honey. Time dont give a shit.

So is that what you call a getaway?
Well tell me what you got away with
Cause I’ve seen more spine on jellyfish
I’ve seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there’s ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
then again when your head goes through the windshield

Brand New – Seventy Times 7

Of course I’m not that angry anymore, but I still love the line.

Recently had this song stuck in my head. It seemed relevant to me.

The White Stripes – We’re Going To Be Friends

fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, book and pens
i can tell that we are gonna be friends

walk with me, suzy lee
through the park, by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we’ve found
then safely walk to school
without a sound

well here we are, no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there’s dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now it’s time to learn

numbers, letters, learn to spell
nouns, and books, and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class, through the hall
teacher marks our height against the wall

and we don’t notice any time pass
we don’t notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that i sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

tonight i’ll dream while i’m in bed
when sill thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when i wake tomorrow i’ll bet
that you and i will walk together again
cause i can tell that we
are going to be friends

Holy.

Shit.

I read the comic years back and loved it. The dark and gritty story. The everyman super hero. I loved everything about it. It was such a change of pace from your normal black and white super hero story.

The movie added even more to that. The directors cut didn’t shy away from any of the nasty bits either. That’s what I loved. It showed the absolutely most vile aspects of the story for exactly what they were, and said “This is your reality. It’s ugly. Deal with it.”

At 3:06 from Opening to End of Credits it was a long ass movie. It was absolutely worth it.

If you like action, can stomach some very graphic sex, violence, and EXTREMELY morally questionable behavior, then I recommend this for you.

If the thought of watching someone get their arms cut off, or a dog eating a little girl makes you squeamish, then maybe this isn’t the one for you.

If you have the stomach to see it through you’ll be rewarded with an excellent and thought provoking story, beautiful cinemtography, and HOT latex suit action courtesy of Malin Akerman playing Silk Spectre. Do yourself a favor and google search it.

Also. Boobs!

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the movie:

None of you seem to understand.
I’m not locked in here with you…
YOU’RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!!
-Rorschach

I’m sober enough to know I’m too drunk to be doing this.
-Shapess

Fantastic.

I love when my drunk self does stuff to help out my sober self.
-Burns

This after waking up to find my shoes where they normally are, my cell phone plugged in and charging, my laptop plugged in and charging, and my contacts removed and in their case.

I don’t know how all of these things happened as I have no memory of them, but drunk self, thank you!

Anyway, the instructor for this class is pretty awesome.  Here is a typical exchange between student and instructor.

Student: So the Habitation Defense says  once he crosses your threshold and starts stealing your stuff, you CAN’T shoot him. What if he starts coming at you with a screwdriver.

Instructor: Light Him Up!! In that case you meet the 4 prongs of the Use of Deadly Force in Self Defense Common Law.

Awesome. I love that the precise definition of the law comes with color commentary. Perfect.

Today I’m off to fire rounds at different distances under timed conditions. Wish me luck.

Words you say never seem
To live up to the ones inside your head
The lives we make never seem
To ever get us anywhere but dead

Soundgarden – The Day I Tried To Live

Do you ever get the feeling that your thoughts are grand and composed in your head, but when you try to express them it all falls to pieces?

I get this a lot.

Perhaps there is nothing but a pile of broken pieces to start. I’m not sure.

Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable, let’s prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

-Douglas Adams