I feel incredibly happy about being in love.. i feel safe.. like this is something that won’t disappear.. and it isn’t something that will come back t oeventually hurt me.. that was pretty much my view on love and relationships before.. always asking “when is this going to come back and hurt me?”.. and as it turns out.. it usually always did manage to kick me right in the nuts.. maybe i’m like the guy blindly walking off of a cliff.. but right now i’m glad to say that i’m in love.. and glad to have this girl as a part of my life… and i hope nothing happens to that.. it’s all so amazing.. absolutely incredible.. i’m happier than i’ve ever been before.. and i probably have more work than i’ve ever had before.. it just doesnt matter to me.. this school thing will serve it’s purpose.. and then eventually i’ll be able to get started with that life long plan i’ve been dreaming up in the background.. the plan i never knew i had until i met this girl….

I’m learning about all the things i never knew i wanted.. but i think i’m closer to figuring out what this is all about.. closer than i was before.. i feel like i have some kind of purpose now.. if i’m here all by myself, what is my goal? to get rich so i can buy a sports car? well.. i suppose that appeals to a certain side to me.. but then there is that whole aspect of starting a life with someone. maybe i’m still in shock from how wonderful everything is.. maybe i’m delusional.. but i’d like to think that i’m happy.. and thinking clearly about things.. well maybe not too clearly.. lately my mind likes to wander.. i think about certain things on and off all day long this is great.. and it’s great in so many ways.. jen has it all.. and when we’re together things are just perfect..