I feel incredibly happy about being in love.. i feel safe.. like this is something that won’t disappear.. and it isn’t something that will come back t oeventually hurt me.. that was pretty much my view on love and relationships before.. always asking “when is this going to come back and hurt me?”.. and as it turns out.. it usually always did manage to kick me right in the nuts.. maybe i’m like the guy blindly walking off of a cliff.. but right now i’m glad to say that i’m in love.. and glad to have this girl as a part of my life… and i hope nothing happens to that.. it’s all so amazing.. absolutely incredible.. i’m happier than i’ve ever been before.. and i probably have more work than i’ve ever had before.. it just doesnt matter to me.. this school thing will serve it’s purpose.. and then eventually i’ll be able to get started with that life long plan i’ve been dreaming up in the background.. the plan i never knew i had until i met this girl….

I’m learning about all the things i never knew i wanted.. but i think i’m closer to figuring out what this is all about.. closer than i was before.. i feel like i have some kind of purpose now.. if i’m here all by myself, what is my goal? to get rich so i can buy a sports car? well.. i suppose that appeals to a certain side to me.. but then there is that whole aspect of starting a life with someone. maybe i’m still in shock from how wonderful everything is.. maybe i’m delusional.. but i’d like to think that i’m happy.. and thinking clearly about things.. well maybe not too clearly.. lately my mind likes to wander.. i think about certain things on and off all day long this is great.. and it’s great in so many ways.. jen has it all.. and when we’re together things are just perfect..

Well it’s moving on in the quarter.. midterms were last week.. i’m all done with those for now.. and it’s week 6.. just 4 more weeks left and this quarter will be all done with.. it’s been a killer quarter so far.. and finals week looks like it’s going to be hell. i’ll survive.. and things will be ok.. that’s what i need to keep telling myself.

So i’m thinking about the redisign of the site again.. just some minor changes to see through this little block of apathy i’m having.. it would make me feel better about life if i moved something around a little bit.. like re-arranging your furniture to get out of a funk.. i dont know.. it just makes sense to me…

So what’s new in my life, you ask, what have i been up to lately and why havent i updated this thing in such a long time. the answer is that i’ve been bust.. very busy.. busy with life.. busy with school.. busy with work.. and busy with love.. love is a big one.. i think i like.. in fact.. it’s the greatest thing ever.. better than school and work.. that’s for sure..

So school work has been driving me nuts.. i’ve had all kinds of things to do for all kinds of classes.. and i have no idea when i’m going to have any more than a few minutes free at any given time.. my life has been rushing and rushing and rushing.. without taking a break… at lesat that’s the way it seems to me.. the little breaks i get arent really all that helpful

The one good thing in my life right now is Jen. she’s amazing.. so amazing that i capitalize her name.. that’s how special she is.. you should realize by now if you’ve been keepign up with the site that i reserve capitalization for things that are either very important. or things that are a title… and Jen is very important (ok.. so you’ve got me.. it’s also the title of a person if you wanna look at it that way. but still that doesnt diminish the importance of capitalization.. cause i never capitalize names). So she came out to see me this weekend.. she was on her midterm break (damn semester system).. and it was one of the best weekends i’ve had.. she stayed out til tuesday.. 4 nights in a row.. falling asleep next to her.. waking up and seeing her in the morning.. absolutely amazing.. and i didn’t want it to end.. i wish i had more free time.. but i guess wishing won’t get me anywhere.. eventually i’m hoping there will be a time when i get to spend a LOT of time with Jen.. my time with her is so great..

I have to go do a usability test tonight.. blahhh.. but oh well.. i’m going to get paid for it.. and that’s always a fun time.. i dont know if my time is really worth what they’re paying me.. but i figure.. what the hell.. an extra 10 bucks. for a half an hour of something that probably won’t be all that fun.. whatever works.. time to get going.. maybe i’ll update again sometime this month… busy busy.. :-\ but real life took precedence over my online persona.. crazy stuff..